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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068642">What Defines Us (Are The Choices We Make)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas'>PatchworkIdeas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WinterFRE 2020 [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Explicit Consent, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:34:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is missing and Fili is worried out of his mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WinterFRE 2020 [28]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Defines Us (Are The Choices We Make)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Prompt Nr.69:<br/>A/B/O dynamics</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kili had been missing for days when Fili noticed a familiar face looking at him, hidden behind a tree.</p><p>He made to shout, to call attention to his missing brother finally found, but bit his tongue upon Kili’s fingers to his lips, a gesture to follow, and his sudden disappearance back into the woods.</p><p>Fili followed, worried sick, thoughts of what could have happened to cause such a behavior. They had thought Kili might have been abducted, held for a ransom they had not yet been told about – but that seemed to have not been the case.</p><p>On hasty foot he followed his brother, always just far enough ahead to be seen, but not reached. His brother occasionally turned around, fingers once again to his lips for silence, always nervously looking around if they were followed.</p><p>Fili ran after him, but couldn’t help but remember those old legends of ghosts leading their former loved ones to their death, so that they wouldn’t be alone.<br/>
Fili didn’t want Kili to be alone, and he definitely didn’t want him dead, didn’t even want to entertain the thought. But the eerily silent chase was making him afraid nonetheless.</p><p>But not as afraid as not knowing, of turning around and never finding out what had become of his brother.</p><p>Kili knew these woods like no other, always had, his love for adventure having pulled him out here, with or without permission, all his life.</p><p>They had combed them before, and found nothing.</p><p>If Fili didn’t follow now, as strange as his brother was acting, he might not get a second chance. He might be left to wonder for all his life.</p><p>He caught sight of Kili again, for once still, standing against a rock wall. Then he was gone.</p><p>Fili sprinted towards the walls, panic and fear at an all time high, and found a tiny entrance hidden behind some shrubbery.<br/>
He could only barely make out movement farther in, most likely his brother, crawling on his knees to who knows where.<br/>
“Kili!” Fili hissed, sick of it all, just wanting to get his brother back home, safe and sound. If this was all just a stupid game, one his mischievous brother was supposed to have left behind years ago, he would not forgive him easily.</p><p>None of this was funny at all.</p><p>“Please Fili, I need your help, and yours only. <i>Please!</i>” Kili’s whispered, voice reedy and thin more like an animal in pain than the strong, stubborn brother he knew.<br/>
Fili ducked into the tunnel before he had quiet thought it through.<br/>
Kili should <i>never</i> sound like that.</p><p>The darkness was claustrophobic, walls on all sides and hard stone under his knees, but he dutifully followed Kili, calling whenever the path branched, terrified of getting lost and never finding his way out. How had his brother found this place? What had driven him to enter it? Alone, even! Fili’s harsh breath was echoing in the tiny space, and he feared that maybe the legends where true, that he had followed blindly to his death. What if they weren’t so far fetched after all?<br/>
None of this made sense.<br/>
But if they were true, Kili would be…</p><p>Fili swallowed, grit his teeth and followed. Thoughts like this would help no one.</p><p>Eventually, after too much time surrounded by stones that had never felt like home to him, Fili finally saw light. It was dim and he could just about see his brother disappearing out the exit of the tunnel.<br/>
Well, then. He would hopefully have his answers soon.</p><p>The cave beyond was a marvel, one side was taken up by a lake, which reflected tiny pinpricks of light throughout the whole interior.<br/>
It was just enough to see his brother, standing on the other side of the cave, beside the water, finally waiting for him to catch up, except-</p><p>“Don’t come closer. Not yet.” </p><p>Kili’s words didn’t make any sense; nor did the clear note of fear in them, despite there being nobody but them around.</p><p>Kili had never been afraid of Fili.</p><p>Fili locked his legs, so eager to run to him, to shake him, to demand answers of where he had been, what had happened, of <i>why.</i><br/>
He just wanted Kili to be safe again.</p><p>“Talk to me, then! What’s going on, Kili?!” He called across the distance, nerves frayed by worry and fear and a sick feeling in his stomach, like an instinct, stirring the longer he followed him, getting so much stronger now that they were finally at their destination.</p><p>He wanted so badly to run to him, to hold him, to make sure Kili was well and protected and loved. </p><p>Kili waited for a moment, testing Fili’s normally endless patience, but eventually relaxed, and slowly stepped closer, eyes never leaving his. Kili looked at him like he was a wild animal, as if he might need to expect an attack any time, and none of this made any sense.</p><p>“I’m in control of my thoughts and I’m in control of my body.” Kili started, stopping just a few meters away. Kili’s voice was as calm as he could make it, a contrast to the way he still looked at Fili, and to the nonsensical words he spouted. “I know we were taught that that’s impossible, but it’s true, and I need you to believe me.”</p><p>Fili hesitated, for just a second, but nodded. “I have always believed you, Kili. But you’re scaring me. What’s going on, what are you talking about?”</p><p>“I’m an Omega.”</p><p>And Fili’s blood ran cold, because that couldn’t be true. Omegas were rare, and as precious as they were insane. There were only very, very few Omegas born, but they provided a big part of their numbers, obsessed with nothing but bearing children. They were kept in special places, where the healthiest Betas would fulfill their need.<br/>
They disrupted the live of their kin too much, with their constant heats and inability to think clearly.<br/>
But Kili was a Beta, had shown the signs of a Beta years ago, or they never would have been allowed to stay together.<br/>
Omega’s weren’t raised among Betas, nevermind an Alpha as Fili was.<br/>
Fili and Kili were supposed to be a team, balancing each other, trained to rule their people together one day. </p><p>But if Kili was an Omega…</p><p>Alphas and Omegas weren’t allowed to stay around each other – the unstable behavior of an Omega woke an Alphas protective instinct. Before long, they would bond, become unable to think or consider anyone but their partner. But with the constant need for sex and children, the Omega would wear out their partner, and produce more children than one person could support. On top of that, Alpha/Omega pairs weakened their gene pool. Only the changing partners in the Omega houses insured that Beta and Alpha’s could choose their partner freely, without worry.<br/>
It had only been Kili’s status as a Beta that had allowed them to entertain the thought of a relationship, once Kili came of age. </p><p>“I noticed that something was strange while I was out hunting. I met another and he… said I smelled weird; attacked me. I defended myself, but when I tried to tell others what had happened, the same thing just kept repeating. The last was a Beta, insisting I should be brought into the Omega houses and it was ...irresponsible to have me run around free.” Kili’s breathing quickened again – fear. Fear that should never be on his brother’s face and Fili found himself growling, an unknown sound to his ears.<br/>
Kili jumped, taking one step back as if in flight and Fili stopped, breathed deep, only to stop that as well, a scent caught in his nose that left no doubt.<br/>
He stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall, his fingers desperately scrabbling at the rough stone.</p><p>There was silence for a bit, and Fili thinks of the searchers that hadn’t returned and what this would mean for their future.</p><p>Why Kili would want him here.</p><p>It should scare him, and it did, thousand stories of the insanity of Omegas, how they could not be trusted among Alphas, would take what they needed, binding a careless Alpha to them, using them, keeping them locked in a relationship that he wouldn’t want.<br/>
He was an Alpha, and Thorin had wanted to make sure that he, as the future king, would not be snared by some power-hungry whore.</p><p>But this was <i>Kili.</i></p><p>As if reading his thoughts, Kili took a few steps back as well, just to make it clear he wouldn’t attack him, wouldn’t control him.<br/>
As if to prove he was still in control of his own body. Still Kili.<br/>
‘Believe me’ Kili had asked of him.</p><p>The silence lengthened, their breathing calming, in turn, now that the scent wasn’t overpowering anymore, both distance and the slight breeze from the tunnels clearing Fili’s head.</p><p>“Why am I here?” He eventually asked, head still pounding, but clear again.</p><p>“...I don’t want to be a slave. I was lead into those halls once, so that I would know what my duty would be as the Beta by your side, how to choose the right Omega to provide you with Heirs.<br/>
They are drugged, Fili. Allegedly because of their insanity, but I’m not insane! Tired, achy, hungry, yes, but not insane. I don’t want to be tied up and fucked and forced to bear child after child for the rest of my life.<br/>
I swear I’m not going to force you, ever, but the only thing that saves an Omega from that place is an Alpha mate, and we… we said we wanted to. When I came of age and would be ready. I’m ready, even if they read the signs wrong.<br/>
You can leave if you want, I swear I’m not going to hurt you, but you are the only one I trust not to hurt or abuse me as well, so <i>please.</i>”</p><p>The words echoed through the chamber and Fili’s mind. Kili had said he was attacked. He had heard stories once, of travelers who had acted as if Omega’s were possessions, things to be kept, rather than beasts to be feared.<br/>
He remembered stories of great Alphas taming Omegas who had ensnared them, kept them under tight control, sitting at their feet and begging for release.<br/>
He remembered the laughter, the awe for those great leaders who had tamed the untameable.<br/>
He thought of Kili, sitting by someone’s feet, tears in his eyes instead of that wide, beautiful smile, shackles around wrists and feet instead of flying free around the woods.</p><p>Fili felt sick.</p><p>Never. Never in a hundred years would Fili let anyone touch Kili against his will.<br/>
Never would he abuse him. And he trusted that Kili wouldn’t hurt him either.<br/>
Thorin wasn’t infallible, Fili knew that, and nobody catching Kili’s real orientation was only another proof of that.<br/>
What else had they gotten wrong?</p><p>Fili licked his lips, and followed his heart. </p><p>“You want us to bond. Here. So that nobody can ever separate us.” The longer the initial coupling lasted, it was said, the closer the bond their bodies would make would be. Chemicals binding them together, making them need each other and nobody else. </p><p>Ever.</p><p>He had already promised Kili there would never be anyone but him, though, hadn’t he?<br/>
Wasn’t this just another step?</p><p>Kili wasn’t advancing. Kili wasn’t forcing him. Kili was just as scared as him.</p><p>They shouldn’t have to be scared, not around each other.<br/>
Why was he letting this change things between them? If there had been anything he could depend on, it was Kili being on his side, supporting him, loving him, just as much as Fili did the same for him.<br/>
Fili refused to let that change, refused to let fear come between them.<br/>
He refused to let anyone or anything come between them.</p><p>Kili was still Kili.</p><p>Fili nodded.</p><p>“Okay. Not exactly how I had planned our first night to happen, but yes. I did promise you forever before. This changes nothing.”</p><p>And maybe his people would think him crazy, if they were even able to believe it, but Fili found he meant it. The fear settling, and anticipation rising instead.<br/>
They had looked forward to this before, to finally being one.</p><p>Kili reached out his hand and Fili came to him, step by step, breathing deep and not fighting anymore.</p><p>Kili was still Kili.<br/>
And Fili still loved him with all his heart and soul.</p>
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